Hibernate. According to Dictionary.com. “To spend the winter in close quarters in a dormant condition; to winter in a place with a milder climate.” Or wishing to be in a milder climate.
Baby, it’s cold outside.
No, for real.
Well, at this second it’s not so bad. But last week, it was legitimately as cold as Antarctica. And Mars. It was disgusting. I’m trying to forget it ever happened. However, because I am a Minnesotan, I know it will probably happen again.
And when it does happen, I personally don’t want my Facebook feed to look like a whiny version of Accuweather, nor do I want to inflict my woes on the people around me. They, too, cannot leave the house without freezing their butts off, and you can only say “I’m so dang cold,” so many times before there is no more frozen-butt solidarity to be gained.
So here’s the plan: I underwent a major Project Distraction throughout break. I plan to continue it until I thaw out sometime in the spring. Want to join me? Here are the activities that I have found make hibernating a smidge more tolerable. Granted, these are tailored for a homework-less Christmas break in small-town Minnesota, but the general principle applies anywhere.
Make stuff. Like a scarf, or a canvas slathered in acrylic paint, or cookie dough. Especially cookie dough (you need an extra layer of fluff to keep you warm, remember?)
Acrylic on canvas, created by me
I would post a picture of cookie dough, but none of it survived long enough to be photographed. Use your imagination.
Read books. Though please, skip the only okay ones and use winter to treat yourself to the hold-your-breath and stay-up-until-2am books. If you’re on break and slightly nocturnal like me, you’ll be up until then anyways.
My favorite break read. Definitely worth staying up until 2 am.
Memorize the song “Let It Go,” from Frozen. Randomly belt it out and feel no shame. While you’re at it, contemplate how in the heck the girls from Frozen survive without wearing gloves. (The easy answer: they’re animated. But really. This is a movie about winter. I would appreciate a speck of realism.)
Watch lots and lots of What Not to Wear and marvel at how many atrocious outfits there are in this world. For the overachievers, do your own What Not to Wear on your mom’s closet, tossing the sweaters with saggy armpit syndrome and creating outfits with actual accessories.
Wear some really atrocious outfits yourself (because you are never leaving the house and do not need to cultivate a professional vibe or even look attractive). This look can include such as flannel pajama pants that drift above your ankles and charmingly showcase inches of fuzzy socks. This look fits best if you have extra-long legs, and is most suited for environments with really chilly wood floors.
Do a workout video. It will make you nice and warm (and sweaty). YouTube has free ones, so you don’t even have to venture outside to buy one. (And don’t even think about running outside, even if you do miss it.) If you’re brave, try one from Blogilates, my winter workout go-to. Warning: the workout lady is chipper and talks incessantly even when she should be wracked with pain because she’s made you do a ridiculous number of wacko Pilates moves. However, as my sister says, “At least she’s nicer than Jillian Michaels.”
Sit in the snow and read a book. Just kidding! Only crazy people (ahem, like my family) do that.
Pray really, really hard for spring to come soon. This is my favorite option of all.